There are various situations in life and not always you get to show off the best of you. That is not a bad thing, to tell you the truth. The fact is that when you are trying to be above others all the time – that is narcissism, but there is something quite the opposite to that. The thing is that self deprecating or self-loathing is the way you sometimes belittle yourself or your actions or achievements. Of course, very often people take it for humbleness, but if you keep going that way all the time, it may turn to be something far worse than just that. That is why we decided to research the matter deeply, and now we are willing to share all the gathered information with you! Read on to learn more!
Self-Deprecating: What Does That Mean?
To begin with, we need to define self deprecating as such. As it has been already mentioned self-deprecation is the art of manipulating others to think worse about yourself. Whenever you are around other people, you try to downgrade the way you look or what you do. This means that when you are aware of your imperfections you are not trying to hide them on the contrary – you accent them in front of the others. Why do people do that? The truth is that there are many reasons for that; however, in most cases, they come with you into adult life from your childhood.
Now, when we have learned about self deprecating meaning, it is time to have a closer look at the components of this notion. They are few, and it is essential that you are aware of all of them to have a better understanding of the matter.
Early negative experiences
We have mentioned before that self-deprecating has its roots in your childhood. However, not everyone can get to understand what was that key point that triggered something like that. The fact is that in most cases self-deprecation begins with the parents being disappointed in the child.
It is natural for a child to look up to parents; however not all the children are the same, and while some achieve things at once for others, it may take a little while. Nevertheless, some parents instead of encouraging the child to keep trying are merely dissatisfied with the fact that the kid is not as unique as they expected.
It may seem insignificant on a larger scale, but children absorb such an attitude and later on that is precisely the experience that triggers self-deprecation.
Misconceptions About The Nature of Self, Life Or Others
To continue the subject, it needs to be pointed out that general misconception is another component of self deprecation. The fact that if a child thinks all the time that he or she is not good enough it becomes fundamental when it comes to the constant sense of shame. People or children like that often think that they do not get attention, love or care just because they are unworthy and that leads to some severe consequences in many cases.
A Constant Fear And Sense Of Insecurity
Both of the described components add up and result in a third one – fear combined with insecurity. What does that mean? That means that people who suffer from such fears always think that they are not suitable to live a healthy, successful life even when they have a chance. The truth is that that internal feeling of insecurity and unworthiness can ruin a person from within shortly.
A Maladaptive Strategy To Protect The Self
As we grow older we tend to build a strategy that can help us cope with various situations and feelings and self-deprecation is not the exception. The thing is that such people are afraid of being exposed as inadequate. However, that does not mean that they try to do their best not to seem that way – on the contrary. People like that think that if they expose themselves as inadequate to others, no harm will come from that.
A Persona To Hide All Of The Above In Adulthood
The last component of the notion is the persona. What does it mean? When people with self-deprecation grow old, they do not want to be insecure about their inadequacy. Such an approach triggers defensive strategy; however, unlike all the other people, they choose invisibility to defend themselves with.
This invisibility persona speaks for you in such a way that no matter what you do people shouldn’t notice it. In case someone notices it, it will come as a pleasant surprise.
Negative And Positive Sides Of Self-Critique
The fact is that as any notion in this life the idea of self-deprecation has its positive and negative sides. Of course, it may seem that constant self-criticism has nothing good to offer. However, at times the positive pole of self-deprecation is humility. There is nothing wrong with being modest at times right?
Nevertheless, there is also a negative pole to think about - self-abasement. This is when your modesty turns into constant humiliation, and there is indeed nothing good about it so that you should better be careful as for not to cross the line.
Women And Self-Deprecating
What is self-deprecating when it comes to women? The fact is that in most cases it is considered that women are more prone to self-deprecating than men. Some may say, that it is due to subconscious tendencies. However, in many cases, such a thing is inflicted on women via society and its views. The thing is that not so long ago women were considered to be mere housewives incapable of anything else. What is more, when both men and women act in the same way – the latter may be judged by that very society while the former are allowed to behave in such a way with no consequences.
To sum everything up, it is safe to say that due to the decades when women were undermined by society, when their confidence was belittled - all that left a mark. This means that even nowadays women are more inclined to feel self deprecating than men.
Take Control Of Self-Deprecation
If you wish to control self-deprecation, you need to accept the fact that it is the way you feel about yourself, and you need to fix it.
Once you come to terms that you feel like self-deprecating yourself, it is necessary to figure out why you do so, what is the reason behind such an attitude towards yourself.
After you are though with these two steps, you need to dig even deeper as for when has it started and what influenced you in such a way. When you reach this level of self-observation, it may turn out that you need professional help to solve the issue. Do not hesitate to start your sessions with a psychologist when necessary.
As you become aware of why you are self deprecating, what are the reasons behind it, you will learn to control the feeling.
You Must Believe In Yourself
No matter the issue it is always important to love yourself, at least a little. Of course, no one is perfect, and we often fail and make mistakes. However, people with self-deprecation think that they are the worst and they deserve to be treated in such a way. When you come to realize that you are the one to think something like that about yourself you should do anything to find your positive sides.
Once you start to believe in yourself, you will begin to recover, and self-deprecation will be left behind while you will finally enjoy a healthy and happy life as all the other people do!
The notion of self deprecating and what you should do about it. All this, as well as other useful information, can be found in this article. Self-deprecation is curable you just need the right means at hand!
FAQ: Self Deprecating
How do you help someone who is down on themselves?
- When self-criticism makes you uncomfortable, be honest.
- Find proofs to back up your self-deprecating remark.
- Concentrate on the positive!
- Inquire if there is something more serious going on.
Can a person with low self-esteem love?
People with low self-esteem are capable of loving others but unable of loving themselves. You must recognize that, while your partner may not acknowledge it outright, he may secretly wish he was someone else.
How a person with low self-esteem behaves?
Low self-esteem can affect a person’s quality of life in a variety of ways, including negative emotions such as continuous self-criticism, which can lead to feelings of despair, depression, anxiety, wrath, shame, and guilt.
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