There are so many feelings in our lives that we can barely understand or explain. Self-loathing or self deprecating is clearly one of those underestimated feelings. However, the fact is that something like self hatred can easily destroy you or your life. In case you feel that you are not good enough for anything on a daily basis – you have come to the right place. The fact is that when you self loathe yourself, you either feel like you are the worst or you try your best to be better than anyone you know. No matter which way you have -–you need to start looking for the ways to deal with the issue otherwise it will consume you. We hope that this article will help you deal with your inner demons and win over them!


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Why Do You Hate Yourself?

It is only natural to begin our journey with self loathing definition. However, there is no such definition. All that we can rely on is the self loathing meaning produced by those experienced in the area. Even though we may not realize it, but self-loathing is the result of our childhood. The more there was negativity in your childhood the most likely you are going to bring it with you into adult life and transform it into constant self-loathing. It is obvious enough that parents are the first to blame here, but nothing is ever that simple. The truth is that negative parental behavior is the result of their bad childhood. It may seem like an endless circle, but there is still a way to break out of it. Yet, when you are facing the issue of self-hatred – you are the only one to rely on.

So what is self loathing? That is the result of all the negativity you go through when you are a child.


The Self-Loathing And Conscience: It's Not The Same

It is essential that you differentiate between conscious and self-loathing. The truth is that these two notions are quite the opposite. While your conscience tells you, what you shouldn’t have done or should have done in a particular situation without convicting you in anything, self-loathing makes you feel belittled and to blame. That is why when you always feel bad about yourself or unworthy it is time you try to learn whether you are self-loathing and if you do – how to deal with it.

7 Signs Of A Self-Loathing Mindset

It is true that in order to overcome something you need to understand it first. That is why we suggest you pay attention to these 7 signs of self loathing to figure out whether it concerns you.

Low goals

The point of setting a goal is to better yourself. However, people who self loathe themselves always set low goals. Why is that? The answer is simple – the fear of failure. Many people think that it is better to achieve something small than nothing at all. That is true to some point but not entirely. The thing is that people who are afraid of failures need to learn how to accept them and to move on otherwise there is not a chance of overcoming the destructive feeling of self-hatred.

Too many apologies

If you apologize way too often that may be the sign of self-loathing. It is essential that you understand that not always it is your fault since all people make mistakes and there are situations you can’t control.

Unhealthy motivation

It is true that motivation is a sure way to success. However, you need to understand that there is a healthy motivation and an unhealthy one. If you continuously use self-criticism to motivate yourself – that is not a good sign. That is why you need to get over it as soon as possible so that some healthy motivation can be brought into your life.


To begin with – to compare yourself to others is okay, however when you think that everyone around you is ideal, but you are not – that is unhealthy. You do not need to feel that you are worse than anyone else. The fact is that you are different and you can achieve anything when you deal with your self-loathing issues. It is acceptable to fail and to fear, but you shouldn’t let these two factors determine your life.

Social media dependence

It is true that these days no one can imagine their lives without social media. However, when you post everything on your social media account just to seek up approval – that is unhealthy. You do not need someone’s approval to figure out that you are happy, or successful or loved – you need to realize that on your own, otherwise there is no use.

Fear of compliments

In case you are afraid of compliments because you think they are insincere or that you do not deserve them – there is a self-loathing problem. You need to come to the understanding that not all the people are hypocritical and that their compliments can be indeed deserved by you. Once you come to realize that you will be on the road to recovery.

Fear of being loved

People who self loathe themselves often are afraid of falling in love. The main reason lies in their perception of themselves as of not perfect people. However, the fact is that no one is perfect. You just need to accept this simple fact. Once you do so, it will be a lot easier for you to open up to someone.


How To Overcome Self-Loathing

Now, when you are aware of all the signs of self-loathing, it is time you learn how to stop self-loathing.


It is only human to absorb negativity while ignoring positivity. That is why you need to start with it – absorb positivity. Write down all the compliments people tell you, learn to thrive from positive thoughts. One step at a time – and you will win over self-loathing in no time.


The thing is that in order to succeed with something you need concentration. When you can’t concentrate, your mind drifts away to things like self-loathing. That is why all you need is a complete concentration on what you are busy with right now.


There are some things out there that we believe in since we were kids. However, how often do you ask yourself – is this belief really true? That is why in order to overcome that self-destructive feeling you need to question those things that seem obvious to find out whether the opinion is true to life.


Everyone has people he or she admires. These can be celebrities, politicians, and who not. Yet, the truth is that no one is perfect. This means that whenever you think that you will never reach something that the person you admire reached – think once again. Celebrities are only people with flaws and imperfections. Once you learn those, you will be one more step closer to getting rid of your self-loathing.

Getting to know people whom you are jealous of

It is too easy to think that someone’s life is better than yours. That is why if you have a co-worker or a neighbor you envy – try to learn something more about them. As you get closer to that person, you will understand that their life is not that perfect after all and there is nothing to be jealous of.


We all know that we are supposed to be kind to others, but what about yourself? No one pays attention to the fact that you need to be compassionate to yourself in the first place.

Face Your Demons

All of us have inner demons that we are afraid of. However, you need to accept the fact that mistakes and failures are inevitable. You need to make peace with your demons instead of denying them. The fact that you reject something does not mean that it does not exist. However once you accept them, it will be a lot easier to move on, and that is something you require to stop self-loathing yourself.

Self-loathing is a great, self-destructive feeling you need to be aware of. This feeling can make you have an inferiority complex. That is why we are offering you a helping hand. In this article, you will not only find useful information on how to spot self-loathing but also how to overcome it and live a happy life.

FAQ: Self Loathing

What are the signs of a man with low self-esteem?

  1. He often criticizes you.
  2. Jealousy is his natural emotion.
  3. He has a negative attitude toward many aspects of life.
  4. He is terrified of taking on major responsibilities.
  5. He lacks self-assurance.
  6. He often engages in sexually coercive behavior.
  7. He is addicted to a variety of things.

What does hate do to the brain?

The chemistry of the brain changes as a result of hatred. This negative feeling stimulates the area of the brain responsible for movement planning and execution, which causes aggression while feeling hateful, causing you to either attack or defend.

How do I stop hating?

The optimal course of action for resolving feelings of hatred can vary depending on the situation. If you have feelings of hatred for someone or something you don’t understand, try to focus on empathy (the ability to understand the feelings of other people) and compassion (kindness).