Real-Life Hilarious Quotes about Married Life

Married life is not that simple, and everybody knows that. The key to having a happy marriage is different for every couple. However, it is essential not just to love each other, but also to accept each other’s flaws. Otherwise, the love will fade away with every quarrel and nothing except annoyance will be left. Learn how to have fun together and make each other laugh with wedding day quotes even if the situation is sad, and your marriage will be long-lasting and full of delight.


“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?” - Barbra Streisand

Besides humor, a happy marriage requires complete harmony in a sexual relationship, so learn how to make him want you. When the time passes, it is not so easy to surprise each other when it comes to intimacy, and some tips might be helpful.

Quotes About Married Life

My husband is home sick from work today and it's like having one thousand babies. - Sarah (est.1975)


Quote #3

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." - Erma Bombeck

Quote #4

"Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share." - Valerie


Quote #5

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Quote #6

Today is my wife's birthday. What's the perfect gift for the woman who would never date me if she had just met me now? - Marc Williams


Quote #7

My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life. - Stella G. Maddox

Quote #8

My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it's going to get our kids into Harvard. - Momma Unfiltered

Quote #9

Sorry. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband. - Housy Wife

Yes, everything was totally different when you were falling in love. Like all happy couples, you probably did not miss any chance of going nasty, and all your friends kept telling you “Get a room!” Cherish those memories and try to revive them from time to time with amazing wedding quotes about love.


Quotes About Married Life

My husband gets so mad when I introduce him as my first husband. - fabulous af

Quote #11

When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming. - Simon Holland

Quote #12

My husband called me at work because his boss wanted to know where he saw himself in 5 years and needed me to tell him. - Tired Working Mom


Quote #13

Marriage is basically just whispering, "Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video."

Quote #14

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad. - Helen Rowland

Quote #15

“They say love is blind... and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” - Mae West


Quote #16

“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” - Grace Hansen

Quote #17

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot anymore.

Cute Marriage Quotes For Wedding

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ― Friedrich Nietzsche


Quote #19

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. - Franz Schubert

Quote #20

The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they're right if you love to be with them all the time. - Julia Child

Quote #21

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. - Martin Luther


Quote #22

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Quote #23

In a happy marriage it is the wife who provides the climate, the husband the landscape. - Gerald Brenan

These wedding quotes will be really helpful for you not only before your wedding but also during your life together. Live it to the fullest and enjoy your love only getting stronger through the years.