How To Break Up With Someone Without Crushing Him
Some people may say that if you are the one to initiate the breakup, it is always easier for you. That is where most of us are wrong. On the contrary, many things may make you feel like a bad person, especially if you loved or still love the person you are about to break up with. That is why we decided to figure out whether there are safe ways how to break up with someone. Unfortunately, there are none. However, there are some tips you can follow to smooth out that excruciating pain that you may inflict on someone you have been involved with. Read on to learn more!Main photo Halfpoint/Shutterstock
Things To Do Before The Break Up
When you start thinking about should I break up with my boyfriend, then you need to come up with a plan. No matter how cruel it may sound, but the better is the plan, the easier it will all end between you. There are certain things that you are bound to do before the final day comes. We have gathered all of them for you here.
Give Your Couple A Chance
It needs to be pointed out that once you are set on breaking up course – there is no way back. Of course, a thought to break up with someone does not come out of blue. There must be some things that trigger the idea. That is why before rushing to call things even, you need to talk to your partner. Who knows, maybe something that you consider to be forever broken is still mendable, and you should not give up on your relationship. The key point is that your partner should be aware of your concerns since he is a part of the relationship too.
Choose The Correct Location
It may often seem insignificant where you are going to do it, but it is important. The thing is that where and how to break up with someone who loves you depends upon your closeness. Very often it is best to choose some private place if you do not live together – choose his place. When you are at his place, you can leave as soon as you consider it to be appropriate. While he will feel safer and secure in the privacy of his house. However, if you know that a person is aggressive and even abusive, it is best to do it in a public place or even over the phone.
Think About The Logistics
There are many sides to splitting up. The most difficulties may arise if you live together and have some valuable things in common. That is why it is best that you know in advance how you are going to divide your belongings as well as where you are going to stay afterward.
Get Ready For Feelings From Both EndsSource: Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock
We have covered it how to break up with someone you live with, what about someone you are attached to? The thing is that even it is your decision that does not mean that you are not going to get emotional. You will. In most cases, it is only natural, and all you need to do is to wait it out. It is normal to miss the person you shared your life with, but that does not mean that your decision to split up was incorrect.
Talk To A Close Friend
It is not only essential to figure out how to break up with someone you love, but it is also wise to prepare some support group. If you have any close friends you trust, it is best to tell them about your decision. No matter how the break up goes, it is almost certain that you are going to need someone to support you so that you do not feel lost and lonely.
Things To Consider During The Break Up
The fact is that there are things to consider during the breakup as well. The better aware you are of them, the more it will help you out in the process. Read on to learn more!
When you are positive about the fact that you really want to end the relationship, you should better do it quick, since giving a false hope will only hurt him twice as much. That is why you need to be honest and direct. There are surely reasons why you want to finish it – tell him every single reason so that there are no unanswered questions left.
As it has been mentioned you need to state the reasons that affected your decision. It is best if you have a meaningful conversation with all the questions figured out. There is no point in leaving him wondering what went wrong and was it his fault or yours. No matter why you end it, you need to keep it in mind that the person on the other side is the one to get hurt most.
Keep Up to Your Decision
The truth that in many cases, your partner may try to manipulate you into changing your decision and you need to be prepared for that.
Begs to change your mind: you need to keep it in mind that no one has to beg for love. When there are no feelings left there is no point in trying to ignite the spark.
Gets angry: yes, such a response is also possible. If you see that the rage is about to lash out, it is best if you distance yourself and offer to continue the conversation when he cools off.
Gets sad: that is inevitable, and you may feel like comforting him. However, it is best if you don’t go over the edge with it since it may give him a false hope and that is never a good thing.
Promises to change: well, change is a good thing when you are still trying to save the relationship. On the stage when you are breaking up, such an offer should not change your mind, since in most cases it is already too late.
Things To Do AfterSource: Halfpoint/Shutterstock
When you have learned how to break up with someone nicely you need to think about the things to do after. That is precisely what we have to offer in this chapter.
Let Your Friends And Family Know
Even if you are the initiator, you will still get lonely, sad and isolated. That is why it is best if your friends and family are at your side during this phase. It is best if you let them know about the break up as soon as possible.
Think About Your physical and emotional health
The fact is that a breakup usually has a dark toll on anybody. That is why it is high time to take care of your physical as well as emotional health. Fix your sleep, diet, and exercise. Spend quality time with people close to you. Of course, you may need some quality time with yourself too. However, it is best if you avoid drugs, alcohol, rebound sex, stalking your ex on social media, etc.
Social Media Plan
Social media is an important part of most of our lives these days. That is why you need to come up with a proper breakup plan concerning social media as well. You may agree with your partner on when to announce the news on your social networks. Also, you can block or delete each other from your friend’s list, etc. Removing the pictures of both of you from your social media pages would be wise as well, but you should not delete them. It is best if you save them to some hard drive and keep hidden for a while.
How To Deal With Second Thought?Source: Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock
Of course, missing your ex is only natural. However, if it seems you have made the greatest mistake of your life – things get a little slimy. The fact is that the best thing is to consider what has changed after the breakup and talk to your partner. Yet, it is best if you wait at least three months to see whether the feeling sticks and then try to reverse the doing.
Tips From A Relationship ExpertSource: fizkes/shutterstock
There are some professional tips for you to deal with the breaking up process.Do not vanish
Even if it was just one date, you are bound to notify the person that you are not interested in exploring the area together. All of us have feelings and the fact that you are not interested does not mean that he feels the same. A simple message can change a lot.Be honest
It hasn’t worked out between you; there is nothing you can do about it. What you can and should do is, to be honest, and kind to your partner. After all, no one knew the way things would end up.Body language
Not only it matters what you say but also how you say it:
- First of all, talk privately if possible.
- Keep your body open; do not cross your arms, so that your partner feels that the conversation is sincere.
- Keep your eye contact.
- Do not use blaming language; what happens is the fault of both of you.
- Tell him about what you achieved together.
- Let him speak and share his thoughts, feelings, and views on the matter.
- Hugging one last time is okay.
After you break up with someone, do not rush to share your happy feelings about it on your social media. Keep it in mind that the other person may be deeply hurt and seeing things like that may only worsen his pain.
If you wonder how to break up with someone with the least pain, you have come to the right place. We are not going to present a step-by-step guide as for what to do, but we will guide you in the right direction!
FAQ: How To Break Up With Someone
Is it OK to break up over text?
If the idea of breaking up with someone in person frightens you to the point where it all feels a little too much, breaking up by text is a good option. This allows you to think over your agruments and prepare your remarks.
What are bad reasons to break up?
- Your partner takes notice of other attractive people.
- You don’t agree on what you enjoy or don’t like.
- You had a brawl.
- You despise your partner’s bad habits.
- There isn’t enough time in the day for the relationship.
- Your partner does not always comply with your requests.
- You’re in a bad mood right now.
- You daydream about being alone.
At what point do most couples break up?
According to the new research made by Chicago Psychological Health Center in 2018, relationships are more likely to end significantly sooner than the feared seven-year itch. The most usual time for a couple to break up is when they have been together for two years. By that time, you’ve probably learned everything your lover has to offer, both physically and psychologically.